When times are rough...

I lost a sweet friend this last week. She was 37 weeks pregnant and she and her sweet baby, Selah Crosby went to be with Jesus rather suddenly. 

This has made it a very emotionally and physically draining week. I attended the memorial yesterday and have been debating going to the funeral tomorrow in Wichita... but I still haven't decided on whether I can handle the ride down right now. 

With dealing with all of that it has made this week challenging in many ways, but it has been hard on my poor body too. I knew this would be the case, but it can't be helped. So I'm just battling through. It's hard because I constantly assume I'm going to be able to handle more than I can. :-) 

So healthwise... Tonight I have sores in my mouth, and my body feels exhausted and sore. My hands hurt, and dealing with a pretty bad headache. Prayers are welcome as always.

So grateful that my friend loved the Lord so much, and that I can be confident that she is so happy with Jesus. God has been very gracious through everything this week. I would be so lost without His loving help and support through my challenges this week. He always provides what I need exactly when I need it. 

This was a new recipe we tried. It is spaghetti squash with no meat, meatballs, and a low sodium sauce. I don't think any of us cared for it... but it wasn't the worst thing I've eaten. :-)

Psalm 27:8

New King James Version (NKJV)

When You said, “Seek My face,”

My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”

Great Changes!

Okay, it's been a while again and more than time for an update. Lots of things have been going on... So you remember last time I wasn't doing well at all. We contacted Dr. Fuhrman and asked for suggestions on what might be my problem and if there was anything we could try differently. 

He decided that the Probiotic He put me on we might want to stop taking, because it has cornstarch in it. Corn can be a major problem for Lupus patients which is why I haven't been eating any corn. He also thought that I should lay off of fruit and eat more Oatmeal, black wild rice, mushrooms, zucchini, yellow squash, and berries for something sweet. In addition to all the salads I'm eating of course. 

Needless to say I was very disheartened by that list. I didn't like Oatmeal even when I dumped brown sugar and butter in it. ;-) Actually the only thing on that list I like and eat usually is the berries. :-) 

I was feeling so awful again though. So we decided to do what he said and alter my menu choices to include ALL of his suggestions. My family was great at helping come up with good ways of fixing the different things so that I could manage to eat it. Everything has actually been very good. 

I haven't thought to take any pictures of breakfast, but Victoria has done a great job of being creative with her oatmeal making it has been different every day, and some days are way better than others. This mornings was Actually VERY VERY good. She made oat and berry bars. They were SO GOOD! Take my word for it. She has also been fixing me berry, flax seed, and almond butter smoothies in the morning I think she might be putting Kale in them too... She has worked really hard to make breakfast edible knowing my great dislike for oatmeal. I appreciate her thoughtfulness and her willingness to take on so much effort to make something I would like. 

 My sister Lindsay came over this week and she decided we should grill our veggies, so we gave it a try. You are looking at Zucchini, yellow squash, onions, and peppers. 

 Shelby grilled them to perfection. 

 Mom was a genius and pureed the mushrooms and cooked them in the rice. You can't see them, or taste them... PERFECT just the way I LIKE them! I liked the meal so much we made it two days in a row. It felt like a "real" meal. 

 Another good meal we had was this Summer Harvest Caponata. It's cooked in the oven which gave everything a very different taste. This we ate of Quinoa which is a slightly odd texture, but I like it. 

And YES! Of course there are BERRIES! 

So how am I doing now? OH MY GOODNESS! I feel GREAT today! I had a long hard day, I did take a nap... but I feel really good! Oh! and I feel HUNGRY again!!! Which is a VERY good thing as it is so hard to MAKE yourself eat... trust me. I have lost close to 20lbs and I'm hoping to either not lose anymore or to gain some of it back again now that my appetite is back. 

So thank you for your prayers. God has indeed been very good strengthening me throughout all of this. I loved this verse this week. I have had many chances to use it and draw strength in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Whole Foods + update on life

 Well, I had thought to give you a tour of what Mom and I out shopping at Whole Foods and Costco looks like. Including what we eat while we are out! :-) 

This salad at Whole Foods was HUGE as you can see... I just kept putting a little of EVERYTHING on it! Would you believe I ate the whole thing? NO?! Well, I DID! I also ate some of Mom's Then we shared a nice plate of fruit for our treat. 

 I was excited to find a salt free version of my favorite seasoning... although I am convinced that it's the salt that makes seasonings so wonderful. I just had no idea before!

 okay if you have ever been to Whole Foods you know they have bins and bins of seeds, nuts, rices, beans... etc... So we spend a lot of time filling up bags at the bins. Cashews are my favorite thing to get here. Raw and unsalted of course.

 Whole foods tends to carry the best produce, and their Kale tends to be the best around here. 

 after checking out at Whole Foods and then driving down the street to hit Costco we saw a hot air balloon that was coming down for a landing somewhere close by. 

  

We are in and out of Costco a LOT faster these days since we tend to just need to look at produce and then leave. ;-) 

 Their fruit has been fantastic this year. I've eaten my weight in peaches this summer. 

 Now to figure out where in Lucy (the jeep) all the groceries are going!

No worries, always lots of room! It's a good thing those seats fold down! 

Okay now for an update on me.... I'm sorry I haven't been so good lately on updating. I DO appreciate all the people praying for me and keeping track of how things are going. It means a lot to me. 

Well, it has been rough. I still don't feel any better... In fact I've just seemed to get worse. Fatigue, headaches, nauseous,  PAIN! I actually ended up needing to take my Tramadol last night at 12:30am so I guess it was this morning actually. ;-) It felt like such a failure to have to take my pain meds... I dislike the way the meds affect me, and I have a high pain tolerance so I usually just tough it out... but it was quite beyond me last night, and I felt defeated. I waited as long as I could. 

The food has been very difficult too. I really have a hard time with the foods I'm eating, especially when I don't feel good. I know it takes time though... So hopefully if I stick with this long enough it will help and I won't mind the food I can't eat so much because I will just be so grateful for the blessing of having good health again! 

Because I haven't felt good, and haven't had an appetite, I've also lost more weight. Which is not a good thing. So if you are praying for me you can add that care to the list. 

I haven't been walking, I just wasn't up for it. My sister Shelby and I did go for a short walk this evening though and it went well. 

2 Timothy 2:3

New King James Version (NKJV)

³ You therefore must endure^[a] hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

This verse was part of my quiet time this morning. It was such a good reminder that God does not promise us life will be easy, but He does indeed promise us that we WILL face trials and hardships of many kinds. However, He is always so faithful to us through these trials. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁸ Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This has been one of my all time favorite passages for a while now, and I am holding fast to its message this week. If my "weakness" is indeed what God would use so that His strength can be made perfect and glory be given to Him through it somehow. I am okay with that. I will simply have to cling to the fact that is His grace is SUFFICIENT for me! 

Good night everyone thank you for reading.

One day at a time

Brief update on how things are going

 This is one of the many great salads mom has fixed this last week. 

Okay, confession time.... I am SLIGHTLY addicted to mangos! I LOVE them. Mom learned how to cut them too. Don't they look really neat?! 

Update on me: 

I haven't done well since the last blog post. However, it hasn't been really bad either. I just got really emotional, fatigued, headaches, and lost all of my appetite. I didn't have the really high pain count though so that is good. Small improvement. 

I believe all that is from the prednisone coming down. I had also given up on walking with all this going on. I am going to start my walking back up again though now that the worst of this seems to be over. 

So despite some more set backs I'm doing ok.  It has been a hard weekend, cause I really am tired of eating this way, and I want to see results NOW! :-) However God has been good and always provides the strength I need to get through each day. What gets me into trouble is thinking about this as long term instead of just focusing on one day at a time. The verse at the bottom I had picked out of my devotions yesterday morning as my verse for the day, and then that night a friend texted me the SAME VERSE! Coincidence???? I think NOT! God is good and was simply reminding me of my verse and confirming it for me. 

2 Thessalonians 3:5

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁵ Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

FOOD!

Thanks to everyone for all of the encouragement through the blog comments, private messages, and emails. It has been so great to hear from everyone! God has been using all of your messages to bless my heart and encourage me in the path He has me on right now. Some people have asked if it is okay to ask questions. The answer is, YES! Ask away! 

One of the things everyone seems to be interested in is what am I eating besides just fresh salads and the "soups" :-) So here is a look at two of the good meals we had recently. 

Hot Skillet Salad

 We prepared this salad in our Wok on the stove top. Some of the ingredients in it are: Bok Choy, Kale, red onion, carrots, garlic, red cabbage, and northern white beans

I KNOW! I KNOW! This doesn't look good, but I actually liked the meal quite a bit, I even ate it left over another day... I didn't think a hot skillet salad would be good left over, but it was. :-) Some other members of the family didn't care for it... I just tell them that they should try some of my "soup" Then they will think more things taste amazing! :-) 

Dessert! 

 Yes, this was one helping. :-) 

Black Bean Lettuce Bundles

 Some of the ingredients are: black beans, avocados (mom mashed them up so I couldn't see them, one super smart mom), green bell pepper, green onions, cilantro, salsa, lime juice, garlic, and cumin. On top of Romaine lettuce. 

That was by far my favorite meal we have made. So much so that I ate dinner TWICE that night! :-) 

CHOCOLATE!!!

Okay, I was getting desperate. :-) I had gone so far as to buy a unsweetened no salt, 100% chocolate bar... Needless to say it was gross! I couldn't eat it at all. I tend to like MILK chocolate or white chocolate is even better... So I was starting to think that chocolate was never going to be a possibility again. Then Victoria made THIS! It has almond milk, hazelnuts, a few cashews, dates (to sweeten)  and cocoa powder!!! This was a nutty creamy chocolate spread that we had on fruit one night while playing games... marbles of course. 

Update on me: 

My 20 min walks are going well. Victoria and I have been taking the two dogs with us at night. Today we started doing morning walks in addition to our night time walks. 

Today is the day I start cutting back a little bit on my steroids. Yes, this is done with Dr.'s approval and direction. The last time I tried backing off prednisone it didn't go so well... but that was way back before all these diet changes. So hopefully this time it will be a success as my Dr, my family, and I would all love to see this medication come way down. For now we are only going from 20mg a day to 15 mg a day. 

Today I am feeling a little tired, but pretty good over all. :-) Praise the LORD! 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.